The subject of euthanasia is always heavy and often sparks heated debates. However, I believe that except for those owners who maliciously give up on their pets (and I trust no professional veterinarian would agree to that), all owners who choose euthanasia out of love and a desire to spare their furry companions from suffering should not be harshly judged. So please, no online arguments. Today's story is about a grieving owner who has fallen into a deep abyss of sorrow and cannot bear even a single irrational comment.
Little Xi's Story
Little Xi (a pseudonym) was a purebred cat who had lived with his older brother for 20 years. One day, he suddenly vomited blood and had bloody stool. Emergency examination revealed a suspected tumor in his stomach. At that time, Little Xi's limbs were cold, and his eyes and mouth were pale. He couldn't even stand steadily. The veterinarian judged that the chances of survival were slim and told the brother that Little Xi was probably in great pain and recommended euthanasia so that he could leave comfortably.
"That day, I took him to be saved, not to be euthanized."
The brother said, completely unprepared mentally. He was very anxious but also feared that Little Xi, who was on oxygen, would suffer more pain. So he made the decision. After a brief farewell, he sent Little Xi on his final journey. But at the end, Little Xi mustered the strength to lift his head and look at him once more — a look that became an indelible pain for the brother.
I feel that look was Little Xi blaming me for not saving him!
The brother felt weak and fell into deep regret.
"No matter what illness he had before, he always fought hard to live. Maybe this time he also wanted to keep living, but I made that decision. I should have taken him home to be comfortable."
A Coin Toss for Forgiveness
At home, the brother flipped a coin to ask Little Xi if he was angry at him. The coin spun for a very long time... finally landing on "yes!"
During a communication session, Little Xi explained that the coin kept spinning because he didn't know how to answer — this wasn't a simple "yes" or "no" matter. He said:
If I hadn't volunteered, brother wouldn't have made that decision in that moment.
But I didn't expect it to be right now — it felt like I hadn't even packed my bags and was forced to leave suddenly, with my feelings unprepared.
I'm just a little upset, but I don't blame brother. After coming to the Rainbow Bridge, it doesn't matter. What luggage could Little Xi possibly have?
At first, the brother tried to joke weakly:
Compared to other pet parents who burn toys or clothes, Little Xi really didn't have much luggage...
But he understood that "unpacked luggage" referred to his emotional state. He began to sob over the phone:
Brother only thought about not letting you suffer anymore, but didn't realize you weren't mentally prepared for euthanasia...
Wow, brother, you really caught Little Xi's feelings. That makes him feel redeemed. Brother, please make peace with yourself.
Brother, Little Xi is very touched, so I'm taking back the 'angry' coin.
It turned out all Little Xi wanted was understanding.
The Final Look and Continuing Presence
Little Xi said that last look was just to confirm with his brother:
Are you ready now? You don't need me to stay with you? You can bear it?"
"Then let me look at you one last time.
At 20 years old, Little Xi was already a senior cat. The brother thought he had long prepared himself for this day, but when it actually happened, he was completely unready and heartbroken. Yet, just like when he was alive, Little Xi remained thoughtful. From the first night after leaving, he kept letting his brother know he was still there — making noises in the litter box, occasionally leaving fur for his brother to find, and most miraculously, moving objects by the bedside.
The brother sent me a photo: a double photo frame originally angled at 45 degrees had been straightened to stand perfectly upright in a line.
"Are you sure you didn't adjust it yourself or that no one else moved it?" I asked curiously.
The brother said no one entered his room, and he never thought the photo frame could be arranged that way.
Brother, I'm so thick-skinned, I have to be obvious so you know I came back.
If I were really mad at you for taking my life, why would I try so hard to prove I'm still with you?
Healing and Moving Forward
During the communication, aside from a small, affectionate complaint about not being given a heads-up before euthanasia, Little Xi had few negative feelings. But to the already guilt-ridden brother, it felt like a heavy burden:
He didn't blame me for euthanasia, but said I should have prepared him mentally first...
The brother fell into a cycle of self-blame and sorrow again.
Little Xi said:
Brother, you can choose to calmly accept this fact, or create a hell of regret to torment yourself. I hope you have the wisdom to judge and choose.
If you think our ending wasn't perfect, let's have a makeup exam.
If we meet again, it means heaven is giving us a second chance!
The brother said he was willing to take the makeup exam and finally agreed to try to pull himself together so he wouldn't worry Little Xi anymore.
Conclusion
This story reminds us that euthanasia is a deeply emotional and complex decision. It should be approached with compassion, understanding, and open communication between pet and owner. Above all, it is a testament to the enduring bond of love that transcends even the final goodbye.
