When Dogs Just Can't Get Along
The two dogs at home seem like enemies from a past life — the moment their eyes meet, they start fighting, leaving their owner with a constant headache.
Despite growing up in the same household, these furry siblings seem to have completely different personalities. One is calm but possessive, while the other is playful yet impulsive. Their daily clashes often leave scattered fur and broken toys as evidence of their "battles."
Experts suggest that territorial behavior, jealousy, or competition for attention can easily trigger fights between pets. To ease tensions, owners should supervise playtime, avoid favoritism, and reinforce good behavior with treats and praise.
While it may take patience and training, coexistence isn't impossible. With time, firm boundaries, and lots of love, even sworn rivals might one day learn to nap side by side — or at least tolerate each other's presence in the same room.
Why Do Dogs Explode When Their Eyes Meet?
Conflicts between dogs that seem to "explode at eye contact" are usually related to five major factors: stress, misunderstanding, and past experiences, among others.
1. Why Dogs Show Guarding Behavior
Wanting to protect what they love: Some dogs are extremely possessive of their territory, food, or even their owner's attention. When they sense that these resources might be taken away, they may first growl as a warning, then stiffen their body, and finally, lunge or bite.
This type of behavior, often called "resource guarding," stems from a dog's instinct to defend valuable possessions. While it can appear aggressive, it's actually a form of communication — the dog is expressing fear or anxiety about losing something important.
Understanding these signals is crucial for dog owners. By observing early warning signs and respecting a dog's space, owners can prevent escalation and help their pets feel safe. Training, positive reinforcement, and gradual desensitization are key steps in addressing this behavior effectively.
In short, when a dog growls or guards something, it's not about dominance — it's about protection and trust. Recognizing and managing this instinct helps strengthen the bond between you and your pet.
2. Understanding Social Communication Disorders in Dogs
Just like humans, dogs rely on subtle social signals to communicate and maintain harmony within their group. However, when puppies do not receive enough socialization during their formative weeks, they may develop what can be described as a social communication disorder.
In such cases, a dog may struggle to interpret the "calming signals" that other dogs use—such as blinking, looking away, or turning their head—to show that they mean no harm. Without this understanding, the dog could misread another dog's prolonged eye contact as a threat or act of provocation.
Why Socialization Matters
Early socialization helps puppies learn the language of canine body communication. When they interact safely with other dogs, they pick up on these calming gestures and learn how to respond appropriately. This prevents unnecessary conflicts and ensures dogs can feel safe and confident around one another.
Helping Dogs Improve Their Social Skills
If your dog shows signs of misunderstanding other dogs—such as growling during friendly greetings or reacting defensively—gentle exposure and positive reinforcement can help. Working with a certified behaviorist or attending structured socialization classes allows your dog to relearn those important social cues in a safe, controlled environment.
3. When Dogs Vent Their Frustration
Frustration looking for a target — sometimes a dog becomes upset because the leash holds it back from exploring or reaching something it wants. The feeling of restriction can build up inside, leaving the dog tense and unhappy.
When this pent-up energy has nowhere to go, the dog might suddenly encounter another dog and redirect all that frustration toward it. To humans, this behavior may seem like aggression, but it's often just an emotional release caused by limitation and stress.
As pet owners, it's important to recognize these emotions in our dogs. Offering more opportunities for physical activity and mental stimulation can help them feel calmer and more fulfilled during walks.
4. Understanding Aggression Caused by Physical Discomfort in Dogs
Physical discomfort can significantly affect a dog's behavior. Some dogs have become more sensitive and aggressive due to deep infections in their legs. When pain or illness goes unnoticed, even the gentlest dog may react defensively.
It's important for pet owners to observe behavioral changes closely. A sudden tendency to avoid touch, growl, or snap might be a sign of underlying pain rather than a personality change. Veterinary attention and proper care can help resolve such issues before they escalate.
Good hygiene, regular health checks, and prompt treatment of wounds can prevent infections that might cause both physical and emotional stress. By understanding the link between pain and aggression, owners can better support their pets' well-being.
5. The Shadow of Bad Memories in Dogs
"Bad memories leave lingering shadows:" A dog that once experienced being attacked after making eye contact may develop a reflexive response—striking first whenever its gaze meets another's.
Dogs, like humans, can carry emotional scars from their past. When a negative event is reinforced by fear or pain, it becomes a lasting imprint on their behavior. For example, if a dog was once threatened or attacked after looking directly at another dog, it may associate eye contact with danger.
Over time, this leads to a defensive pattern: the dog reacts aggressively the moment it senses a similar situation, not out of malice, but self-protection. Understanding this underlying fear is essential for effective training and rehabilitation. Through patience, desensitization, and positive social experiences, old fears can be gradually replaced with trust and calmness.
Recognizing these subtle traces of trauma is the first step in helping dogs heal—not just their behavior, but their confidence and sense of safety.
The Three Stages of Restoring Peace with Your Dog
Phase One: Create Distance and Safety
When dogs are struggling to get along, the first step is to separate them and maintain a safe distance. This reduces opportunities for conflict and helps both dogs feel more secure.
1. Physical Barriers
Install frosted glass panels or fences at least 1.2 meters high to create a clear division between the dogs. This physical separation can reduce the chance of conflict by more than 90 percent.
2. Resource Separation
- Feed the dogs in different areas. Clean up any leftover food within 30 minutes after eating.
- Provide each dog with its own bed or resting space. Using a pheromone spray can also help keep them calm and relaxed.
3. Balanced Human Interaction
Most importantly, interact with the dogs one at a time. Take turns showing them attention to prevent jealousy or competition for affection.
These small but crucial adjustments form the foundation for peaceful coexistence and build trust between your dogs over time.
Phase Two: Behavior Correction (Approximately 2–4 Weeks)
During this stage, the goal is to replace reactive or anxious behavior with calm and controlled responses. The process involves using positive reinforcement and gradual exposure to reduce tension between the dogs.
Training Steps
- Reward calmness: Allow the dogs to meet from a distance. Whenever they can stay calm for five seconds, immediately reward them with a high-value treat. If you notice either dog becoming stiff or tense, separate them and redirect their attention to something else.
- Gradually close the distance: Begin with at least five meters of separation. Each week, decrease the distance by around half a meter. Keep each training session under eight minutes to avoid overwhelming or stressing the dogs.
- Practice the "Turn Away" command: Teach your dog to respond to the cue by turning its head away. Whenever it performs the action correctly, offer a treat such as dried meat. Aim for about 20 repetitions per day over a two-week period.
Consistency and patience are key. Over time, your dog will associate calm behavior with rewards and learn to manage encounters more effectively.
Phase Three: Medical Evaluation
Physical pain is often the hidden source of irritability in dogs. If adjusting the home environment and training techniques still don't help, it's recommended to take your dog for a thorough check-up. Possible causes may include arthritis, skin conditions, or thyroid problems, all of which can affect a dog's mood and behavior.
Finally, if there's no noticeable improvement after eight weeks of consistent training, or if fights between dogs result in serious injuries, it's essential to seek the assistance of a veterinary behavior specialist. These professionals can design a customized treatment and behavior modification plan tailored to your dog's needs.
Responsible Pet Care: Seek Professional Advice
Taking care of a pet involves love, patience, and informed decisions. While experts in this column provide valuable insights, every pet is unique — with its own health conditions, breed traits, and environmental factors that can influence behavior and well-being.
The accuracy of the answers provided by experts in this column may vary depending on each pet's condition, breed, and living environment. For some owners, the column's advice might have limitations. If you notice any unusual behavior or condition in your pet, please consult a professional pet trainer or veterinarian for further guidance.
Remember that online tips can be a helpful reference but shouldn't replace individualized care. Staying observant and seeking timely professional advice ensures your furry companion receives the best possible attention and support.
